ANONG PRUTAS KA

GIRL: mahko,kung ikucompare mo ako sa isang fruit, ano ako?

MAHKO:hmmm..kaw ay isang Mangga!!

GIRL: bakit naman mangga
MAHKO:short for manggagamit!

 

bang >_< whahahaha

2012 SIX SENSES:

1.SENSE OF WAR

2.SENSE OF EARTHQUAKE

3.SENSE OF TSUNAMI

4.SENSE OF FIRE

5.SENSE OF HURRICANE

ANO YUNG PANG ANIM ??

6.ABSENSE WALA NG EARTH

"P" WORD

TRES MARIAS

May tatlong babae na makikipagkita sa kanilang mga BF ngunit kaylangan nilang magpaalam sa kanilang daddy.

MARIA1: Daddy i have to meet Lance to Dance
DADDY: Ok.
MARIA2: Daddy i have to meet Mike to ride a Bike.
DADDY: take care.

at yung Last...
MARIA3: Daddy i have to meet MAHK.......
DADDY: wag mo ng ituloy. hala balik sa kwarto mo. baka kung ano pang gagawin nyo.


(ikaw,nahulaan mo ba kung anong gagawin nila?)

BANAT FOR THE DAY

MAHKO: Sana HOME WORK ka nalang
GIRL: Bakit? para sagutin mo ako?

MAHKO: hindi,para araw araw kitang
naiuuwi sa bahay namin.

RUN RUN RUN

“I used to run away from you because

 I wanted you to run after me…
but I guess at one point,
I get tired of looking back

to wait for nothing.
Now I’m just running away.”

(emoterong daga na hinahabol ng pusa)

KALIKUTIN MO

Magkasintahan na nasa isang lugar

BF: Mahal ko ipasok ko na ha.
GF: ok,Sige Mahal ko dahandahan ah
BF: Ayan Mahal ko naipasok ko na. Masarap ba?
GF: Oo mahal ko masarap ah ah ah
nakikiliti ako.
BF: Ano mahal ko ikut ikutin ko ha?
GF: Sige pa! masaraaaaaap. . . .



Bf: Ayan tapos na mahal ko.
Dami mong tutuli sa kabila tenga naman.

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan

ang taong malapit sayo.

Gamitin ang utak para alagaan

ang sarili mo."

                                                              -MAHKO

Self-Control

BOY : Kahapon, may niligtas akong babae na muntik ng ma-rape!

MAHKO : huwow astig! lupet mo naman.
pano mo nagawa yun?

BOY: simple lang naman.
self control dude! SELF-CONTROL!

whahahaha >_<

Sampung Utos ng Manginginom

1. Huwag makulit habang umiinom.

2. Huwag matakaw sa pulutan dahil hindi ito picnic.

3. Huwag patagalin ang baso dahil may next pa.

4. Huwag uminom ng uminom dahil hindi lang iyo yun.


5. Uminom ng derecho sa tyan.

6. Magpaalam kung uuwi na, hindi yung bigla na lang nawawala.

7. Magdala ng pera pandagdag sa inumin.

8. Huwag matulog sa harap ng inuman kung may tama na.

9. Siguraduhing sa bahay ang uwi kapag lasing na.

10. Huwag tikman ang katabi, dahil hindi siya pulutan.

KUNG KAYA NG IBA... IPAGAWA MO SA KANILA!

PARA SA MGA FIRST TIMER

1) Relax.
2) Ibukang mabuti.
3) Mag-concentrate.
4) Tiisin ang sakit.
5) Sabihin kung nagdurugo.

at higit sa lahat....

6) Magtiwala sa dentista mo.

(ganito ang nasa isip ko pag pupunta ng dentista)

POP POP POPCORN

"halika't ako'y painitin
kailangan kong pumutok

para ako'y iyong matikman
at ng ikaw ay masarapan"

-popcorn

CAT AND DOG

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about "pussy," and their "bitch."

The boy, confused by this, approaches his mother after school.

"Mom, what's a pussy?"

The mother, startled by this, thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says

"Son, that is a pussy."

The son then asks "What's a bitch?"
The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog

and says "Son, this is a bitch."

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says

"Dad, what's a pussy?"

The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out a copy of Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the V*G*N* and says

"Son, this is a pussy!"

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks

"Then, what is a bitch?"

The dad replies, "Everything outside the circle."

MAGLEVEL UP KA NA!

Hindi mo matatawag na PAST ang nakaraan

kung palagi mo itong binabalikan.
Parang ganito lang yan,

"Matatapos mo ba ang laro kung

palagi kang pabalik-balik sa Level 1?"

ADD NYO AKO! DI KAYO MAGKAKAMALI

You can never make the same mistake twice.

because the second time you make it,

it's no longer a mistake, it's a choice.

but you can add me as your friend,

i'm not a mistake. i'm your choice!




http://www.facebook.com/ako.ay.adik

 

PANGEEEEEEET!

GIRL : Mahko! Pangit ba ko?
MAHKO : Walang ginawang pangit ang Diyos...
GIRL: talaga! (smile)
MAHKO: ...pero ewan ko lang kung may Diyos ka.
Baka atheist ka kaya ganyan itsura mo. >_<

BANAT FOR THE DAY

MAHKO: I have two words
GIRL: ano yun?
MAHKO: "I love you."
GIRL: three word yun ah
MAHKO: hindi,kase "you and I" count as one.

Why Sex is Important Before Marriage

(think before committing)



CHICKBOY

MAMA: Mahko, tawagan mo na kuya mo.
pauwiin mo na

(pagakatapos tawagan)

MAHKO: Ma! babae yung sumagot!
MAMA: sinasabi ko na nanchichicks na naman ang
kuya mo. anong sabi ng babae?

MAHKO:"you only have zero pesos in your acct"
hindi ko na tinapos yung sinasabi,
mukhang matapobre eh.