Sampung Utos ng Manginginom

1. Huwag makulit habang umiinom.

2. Huwag matakaw sa pulutan dahil hindi ito picnic.

3. Huwag patagalin ang baso dahil may next pa.

4. Huwag uminom ng uminom dahil hindi lang iyo yun.


5. Uminom ng derecho sa tyan.

6. Magpaalam kung uuwi na, hindi yung bigla na lang nawawala.

7. Magdala ng pera pandagdag sa inumin.

8. Huwag matulog sa harap ng inuman kung may tama na.

9. Siguraduhing sa bahay ang uwi kapag lasing na.

10. Huwag tikman ang katabi, dahil hindi siya pulutan.

KUNG KAYA NG IBA... IPAGAWA MO SA KANILA!

PARA SA MGA FIRST TIMER

1) Relax.
2) Ibukang mabuti.
3) Mag-concentrate.
4) Tiisin ang sakit.
5) Sabihin kung nagdurugo.

at higit sa lahat....

6) Magtiwala sa dentista mo.

(ganito ang nasa isip ko pag pupunta ng dentista)

POP POP POPCORN

"halika't ako'y painitin
kailangan kong pumutok

para ako'y iyong matikman
at ng ikaw ay masarapan"

-popcorn

CAT AND DOG

A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about "pussy," and their "bitch."

The boy, confused by this, approaches his mother after school.

"Mom, what's a pussy?"

The mother, startled by this, thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says

"Son, that is a pussy."

The son then asks "What's a bitch?"
The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog

and says "Son, this is a bitch."

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says

"Dad, what's a pussy?"

The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out a copy of Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the V*G*N* and says

"Son, this is a pussy!"

The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks

"Then, what is a bitch?"

The dad replies, "Everything outside the circle."